I reached the end of my rope this week.
It’s been a common occurrence over the past 14 months. I reach the end of my rope, hold on for dear life, and eventually summon the strength to reach one hand over the other and claw my way back up.
The first slip actually came over two weeks ago, when I learned that my sister and her family had COVID. She has 6 kids - so far two of them have tested negative, but one negative was “inconclusive and requires more testing” and he has the same symptoms as the rest of the family, so it’s pretty much a given that he has it too. My sister is considered “high risk” as she has a compromised immune system, and her 11-year-old daughter (the first one who showed symptoms) is on day 16 with absolutely no improvement. She’s been to the children’s hospital but the doctors say the UK variant is harder on kids. She most likely caught it at school, which the incompetent government in our province is still telling us is safe.
That same incompetent government led to another slip down the length of rope. I cannot fathom how they can be doing so little when our healthcare system is on the brink of collapse. How can they not listen to the science? How can they just dismiss it?
My hands burned as I slid still further down the rope …
I can’t handle people like that anymore. I just can’t. I’ve had to take a step back from some of my friends for that very reason. I’m all for freedom of speech but I can’t take it anymore. I don’t work on the front lines of health care - I work as medical support staff for a company that is nowhere NEAR the front lines - but I spend hours every day on “Long COVID” reports. I don’t understand how people can think this is “made up” or “just a flu”. I don’t have the energy to deal with them anymore. I’m exhausted, and I’m so far back from the front lines. I can’t imagine how ER and critical care staff are still standing with the lack of support they’re getting.
And I’m so sick of hearing people say “I’m done with the pandemic. I’m over it!” It’s okay to feel like that, but THE PANDEMIC ISN’T OVER. It’s hard to see photos from my friends in the US who have all received two doses of vaccine while the majority of us here in Canada won’t qualify for months yet. Our case numbers are the highest they’ve ever been, and people here seem to think it’s not at all concerning. I highly doubt there are enough Albertans who will even take the vaccine to enable us to reach herd immunity because there are so many conspiracy theory idiots out there.
It’s depressing.
I’ve started seriously considering moving back to the Maritimes. I dreamed of moving to Alberta as a kid - it was The Promised Land! But after 16 years of living here, I’m ready to leave. At least people on the east coast care about each other. It’s not “every man for himself” like it is here. It’s a real community - I miss that.
I honestly don’t know where to go from here.
So I guess I’ll do what I always do …
Breathe a prayer …
Put one hand over the other …
Pull myself back up …
And get through this.